Monday, November 3 2025

Another November. Another year has passed. Another challenge. This year I'm giving up weed, drinking (as usual) and .. *drumroll* YOUTUBE. This one is going to be tough. I just checked and last week I watched about 16 hrs of Youtube. 16 hrs. I would say generally I'm closer to 20 hrs, but Youtube only shows you 7 days (and then shows the difference from the previous week). Probably because they don't want you to know how much time you waste sitting there with your mouth agape watching somebody explain something that is of little to no consequence to you. I can't stand it. I can't stand how much time I spend watching videos that just make me angry. Reed says I should give up twitter instead of youtube but I think both are equally toxic. I've spent more time on twitter the past few days than usual so.. yeah.. I've really gotta moderate my content absorption. It's hard though. It feels like you're learning sometimes. And I have to say that yeah.. despite how much brainless slop content I watch I also do sometimes learn things! Youtube can be educational! But generally not the way I use it.. I think ideally I would not be a content watcher. Ideally I would just be a doer. I would be someone who maybe uses youtube occasionally to figure out how to solve problems. Or maybe to get inspiration to do something I normally wouldn't have thought of.. Why can't I be that? Why do I tend to always go for the easiest option? Watch somebody else do stuff and it gives you the sensation of actually accomplishing something.. even if all you're doing is sitting there eating chips. I think that's the crux of it. Watching people accomplish stuff on Youtube feels good. It feels almost as good as creating something yourself.. but not quite. Youtube is the reason I started getting into leather craft. Interestly enough leathercraft was also just something I could do..while watching Youtube. I used to have all my tools and stuff right at my computer desk. The one I'm sitting at now. I would burnish edges or cut pieces out while I had Game Grumps or some bullshit playing on my computer screen. I'd do leather craft and youtube instead of working my job. I was just looking through my old performance reviews and there was definitely a time when my boss was frustrated by the amount of non-work I was doing on the clock. It's just so easy to not do what I need to do and instead do what I WANT to do. These days my leather stuff and all my hobby tools are in the basement. And I barely do any of that stuff anymore. Mostly just because it's no longer convenient. I've thought about moving the stuff upstairs but I really don't have space for it.. Although maybe I could. Maybe I'll move my workbench and all my stuff upstairs. That would be kinda cool honestly. Maybe keep my bike repair stuff and tools downstairs.. Idk. Just some thoughts. I've gotta get words out onto a page or else I'll lose it. No weed is hitting very hard this year and I'm feeling very demoralized. Maybe this is a sign. Maybe SO MANY of my other posts are ALSO SIGNS. MAYBE IT'S TIME.. but maybe not. ;)