Saturday, June 30, 2018

hotel

There's no other place that feels as lonely as a hotel.  I've stayed in so many for so long that the smell has become ingrained in my psyche.  You know the smell.  Vaguely musty from the thousands of people sleeping, dreaming, eating, fucking, living for days or sometimes weeks at a time in a single, tiny room with a view of an industrial park through the window you can't open because too many people have killed themselves jumping out of them..  The carpet threadbare from the thousands of paces across the floor of people wondering when they'll be able to leave.  Wondering what's going to happen tomorrow.  Nervous about a presentation, frustrated by having to continually work, tired of having to sleep where thousands of others have slept, high on .. everything and anything...

The sheets will never be clean.  The showers will never be without scum. The space above the peephole on the door filthy with the grease of countless foreheads of people peering out wondering what they'll do if someone is looking at them from the other side.. but there's never anyone there.  Unless you ordered a whole pizza for yourself or something and the sad looking delivery boy is waiting for you to open the door.

happiness

     I feel like things have finally been going well.  These days I don't feel as lost as I used to. I wake up each day and I look at my...