waking up

Some days are more difficult than others.  Some are easier.  Some days you wake up in the morning feeling like you're ready for a new day.  Like there are things to be done and opportunities to be seized.  Other days it feels like there's no point to even going outside.  But the sad truth is every day there are things to be done and opportunities to be seized.  Even on days when you can't seem to get out of bed and step into the shower.  Then those days are just wasted and you feel even worse.

Today is one of the difficult days.  I found myself this morning sitting naked on the floor next to my bed strumming on my guitar trying to create something.  Anything.  It doesn't even matter if it's beautiful or coherent.  Just trying to create something that sounds reasonably good. 

I woke up earlier that morning and immediately looked at my phone.  The first thing I notice is that I slept through my first alarm.  Then I opened up reddit and began browsing some askreddit posts.  I keep thinking that I'm going to stop myself from doing that.  Waking up to an information overload delivered from a lit up rectangle just can't be good for anyone's mental health.  I should get an alarm clock.. Anyway.  I sit there and stare at my phone for a while and finally get up around the time I should be arriving at work.  I go to the bathroom and turn on the water to heat up and remove my clothes from the day before (most of the time I just go to sleep in my clothes). Then I go back to my bed and lay down for a bit under the covers.  I go back to the bathroom and take my vitamins and then head back to my bed.  All the while the water is running and is heated, of course. So I sit next to my bed and grab my guitar.  It feels cold on my thigh and stomach but it warms up pretty quick.  I pluck out a few nice sounding notes and then finally get up and go to the shower.  This is the most boring dogshit blog post ever.  I hope someone fucking kills me on the way home today.